I have a problem right now: I don’t care. I’m at the “How the hell did I do it – how in the world was it ever EASY for me?!” point. Because it has been easy in the past to keep track of what I’m eating and eat well, and drink my water and do the exercise, but that’s not where I am right now. Right now I’m not really happy with myself, but I just don’t have the motivation or energy to get off my duff and make the changes I need to make. I just don’t care right now, not even enough to be really mad at myself.
Ye gads, I sound pathetic! I’ve used the excuse of being tired, the excuse of not feeling well, the excuse of being slammed at work and not having enough time, the excuse of my bike needing some repair, not to mention the excuse of “well the Hubster is cooking for me tonight, so I have to eat what he’s fixing.” (What he usually makes is not entirely unhealthy, but it’s not the best choice I could make…) And there may be some depression settling in, which would MORE THAN LIKELY be relieved by my actually getting out and moving around!
The Hubster fixed my bike last night, so I won’t have that excuse any more, and I’ve got a perfectly good (new!) pair of running shoes if/when I start doing the Couch to 5K running program again (Having been inspired quite a bit by ORShadow…) And in terms of eating, which is my main problem now? (not to mention drinking my calories) I think I’m going to have to pretty much ignore what the Hubster’s doing (he’s on his own journey and doing very well…) and just do my own thing. Maybe we can eat together on the weekend, but I need to focus on myself, and not feel obligated to eat what he prepares. For all he likes to “kick me out of his kitchen” so he can be the cook, he’s just going to have to deal with me cooking for myself. As much as he loves me, he’s not going to make this journey for me (or make it easy for me…) so I’m going to have to do it myself.
So I apologize for being flaky and not posting for a long time. It’s hard to post about not wanting to post, or not being in the “healthy living” mindset on a blog that’s supposed to be about losing weight. I’m still not feeling it yet, but I’m getting back there. Slowly.
I was right there with you the entire summer! Not caring got me 23 lbs back AND depression with it. Please, PLEASE take care of you! My hubby cooks things like double cheeseburger hamburger helper if left to his own devices, so I do almost all of the cooking. It sucks that you can't share that duty, but do whatever you need to help get you where you want to be. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Mrs. D. I appreciate your words of encouragement. I also really appreciate knowing I'm not the only one in this position...
ReplyDeleteawwww... I have been there, my friend, many times. But you can do it! Take baby steps, maybe have a smaller portion of what the hub has cooked, or go for a walk in the evening before the sun goes down? Sometimes just the smallest effort can be just what is needed to make a little bit more of an effort!
ReplyDeleteYou can do it! :) :)
It's been a week- hope everything is going well in your corner!!
ReplyDeleteDid your motivation ever show up again? Might want to put up a "missing" poster and offer a reward. Sometimes my motivation would come home again (looking sheepish) if I promised chocolate.
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